Undated

Already I am at odds with the instructions. Take three sheets of paper. How many pages on this small screen are equal to three sheets of 8 1/2 by 11 paper? The exercise is to describe what I am feeling right now - where I am right now - physically, emotionally and psychologically. I am where I usually am- on the edge of things- distracted, not deep enough in the essence of anything to be able to write about it. It doesn’t help to be sitting here at Border's sipping on a very good cappuccino and stealing glances at this very beautiful girl. She has a black string top plunging down to a point where I have to look. It is so stupid. Why is the space between a woman's breasts so interesting to guys? .It most likely has to do with the limbic brain vestigial snake brain She has very smooth tanned skin-- perfect skin like lightly chocolated milk. She has very short brown hair which in an older woman would look like a helmet. On her it complements the long dangling ear ring which sparkles in my quick glances. She has a lovely face which to describe I would have to stare more than I feel comfortable. She is typing on a portable computer, Is she writing her final paper for a class? She has shuffled some papers and she is typing from them? She seems to type quickly and she is staring intently at the screen. Unlike me she does not seem easily distracted. I just noticed she has incredibly long lashes. She finally looks up at some young kids. Her eyes are brown and very large. She is closing up shop- on her cell phone- asking how some one is-- telling him/her that she just finished her paper. When she went to unplug her computer, I noticed she has a tattoo on her back.. Is it a rose? Is it a green blob? Is it a mark showing that she is a love slave? She has left.

Now how do I feel? She has left. Youth has left. I have only imagination to allow me to meet this woman. I don't regret my life choices. It would be interesting if you could split off part of your consciousness into a corporeal form so that you could become the characters in your imagination. -- the dashing young man who meet the Border's girl and with a few well chosen words and movement of his hands gets her cell phone number just before she leaves. Then in a bold move calls her that very night and talks to her through the night. By the morning he finds that the woman is very shallow, cares more about looks than books, and was writing a paper on the use of cosmetics in ancient Egypt. Or---- he finds that the woman is promised to a gangster and he woos her anyway and they run off to San Clemente where he is gunned down in the Nixon library-- or the woman is dying of consumptions--- oops that's La Traviata. Am I on page 2 yet?

If only my imagination would stay focused or maybe it is good not to be focused I can go anywhere I want to go and since this exercise is to go anywhere I want to go --

Regrets-- I wish I'd ---

We interrupt this program for a special announcement--someone is getting married. A man with a black robe is walking up the path. gotta go be back when I find a new location

Back
It is a lovely location-- a white gazebo-- in a botanical garden full of exotic palms. The giant live oaks are dripping with Spanish moss shaped like thin spirits of all the brides that have been married here before. I thought of them as sinister before---wraiths-- but a wedding gives them a different meaning.

I am going back and taking a picture. Am I on page 2 1/2 yet???

The wedding ceremony lasted a few minutes. I missed taking a picture. When the minister walked up the path toward me, he was alone; the wedding party took a different path.

"I hope the marriage lasts longer than the ceremony," I said. He laughed a particular deep southern laugh.

It must have been a second marriage. There were two young girls; the bride wore a cream colored dress, the groom wore a dress shirt, tie less, and light colored slacks. There were two photographers in peacock blue knit shirts.

I walked down a path and met an old man who obviously had had a stroke. I said, "What a beautiful day!" and he answered something that confirmed his stroke.

Before I got off on this tangent, I started on a thread of regrets. I have one-- I never learned to play an instrument. I will remedy that when I don't have regular work to do.

I think I have reached my 3 pages. As for writing anything that reveals something new or shocking about me-- I am too ordinary for that-- so I can let all the strings of my mind hang down in disarray LOL