A pleasant surprise on my trip to Reno.
7-18-01
I am on my way to the bathroom at the international terminal at BWI when Carol catches up to me and says that I have been paged to go to the check in counter.
"You need a seat assignment,” Carol tells me.
"I already have an assignment."
I am waiting in line when the flight attendant at the check in counter pages me again. I start to go toward her when she signals me to go to the check in desk. This was nice because I did not have to wait again in the line. (5 years after writing this and I have no idea what I meant. LOL)
Then the big surprise.
"Sir, you have been upgraded to first class."
I don't ask why. Don't even remember to say thank you.
"Sir you can board now with the first class passengers."
Before doing so, I walk over to Carol and tell her that I have been upgraded to first class.
"What did you do to deserve that?" She asks.
On board the flight attendant takes our first drink order, hands us our menu and gives us our first class nuts. Yes they are not the ordinary pack of 14 peanuts that you get in coach. There are cashews. There are almonds and walnuts and filberts. Nary a peanut in the bag. These are genuine first class nuts. Even the bag says: "First Class Nuts"
Soon the stewardess, Cindy, starts handing out the $4 headsets. I am tempted to get my wallet out and pay to watch the stupid movie. Ah, I forgot, this is first class, I can watch the movie, “Heartbreakers starring Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Gene Hackman.
I personally think they gave me first class seats because they knew who was seated behind me. It is a middle aged man in shorts with a few days growth on his chin that he is passing off as a beard. He smells like a brewery and from the number of times that he went to the bathroom, he either has a tiny bladder that fills up quickly with alcohol or he is doing drugs. Each time he gets up my seat back feels as though the plane has lost both wings and is plummeting to the ocean.
We have now been served our drinks in real glass! Ok, I know that there is no such thing as unreal glass; perhaps that is what those poor shmoes in the coach cabin call their plastic cups. When you think about it they may call their plastic cups, plastic glasses. I am now taking a sip of my first class orange juice from my glass glass. It is delicious. Just that-- refreshing newly squeezed oranges. I see the bare foot of the woman passenger in the first row. My synapses put her feet on the fresh squeezed orange. Suddenly,It seems less first class. There should be rules for bare feet in first class. I am sure they would not tolerate that in coach class.
Cindy puts a table cloth on my tray Well maybe it should be called a tray cloth. It is about the size of a napkin, in fact, I think it is a napkin. Should I pull it off the tray and tuck it into the top of my shirt?
The flight attendant, Cindy, gives me a tiny rolled up towel. I take it as if someone hands me these everyday. Secretly I hope it is a tiny hot dog; even though I know it is simply a hot towel with which to wash up. Now where is the towel to use to dry my hands from using the hot towel?
Now my napkin. Now my silverware, I know it is not real silver; but at least it is metal.
The first course (you’d expect that in first class you would get a "first" course now don't you.) consisted of a fruit plate with two large strawberries, a kiwi slice displayed on a slice of orange, an artfully arranged mélange of melons and fresh pineapple. Cindy returns with my choice of croissant or some kind of arty bread. I choose the croissant.
The waitress, no flight attendant, no Cindy, removes the first course and shortly brings back my order of omelet and Norwegian salmon with capers and onions. As I enjoy this, I wonder how Carol and Mike are doing with their choice of chef's salad or hamburger. (As I look back at this from when I wrote it five years ago—Wow, how the years have changed service. Coach now gets only the peanuts that they used to serve in the beginning of the flight.)
After the meal, I finally make it to the bathroom which is invariably is too small for me. Hey, isn’t this first class? Where is my palatial bathroom? Perhaps this first class is not up to the standards of United or American. I will have to ask my brother, Dan, who often flies first class. and Gene Hackman.
I am now going to read. The movie stunk, I am glad I didn't have to pay the $4.00
Off to read
The second half of the trip was not nearly as lucky. We were scheduled for departure at 1:34 and finally took off at 2:10. I was assigned seat 8b... First class in this plane is row 1 and 2. Close enough to see through the crack in the curtain but not near enough to get a glass- glass. No-- the service is a white plastic cup. I did trade my 8 b for 8 e to accommodate a man and his traveling companion. That is a bit of a lie. I really was afraid that the fat woman would sit in the seat next to mine. After the comfortable, roomy first class seat, I was in no mood for lapping fat heating me up over the dessert in Phoenix.
We were just served our "snack" and Pepsi. Jay, my new flight attendant, asked me what I wanted and what the two men on either side of me wanted. The guy to my left wanted a Vodka and club soda for $4. Jay forgot my order and had to ask again. You would think that a man with a job like Jay's would take pride in remembering the simple orders. Perhaps he should get a system. Jay is not nearly as attractive as Cindy was. Jay is bald and with his eyes about 1/2 way down his head, I wanted to draw another more pleasing face on all that exposed skin above his eyes. Cindy did not have a mustache. She did have the beginning of a new chin. I suppose she was an extremely attractive women when she was slightly younger. I did not like her hair. While it was not obviously dyed it was one of those hair cuts like all the Hollywood actress sport--- I think of it as deliberate messiness. Evidently the white haired man who was wearing the blue blazer, tan pants and loafers who seemed to be manufactured in some Ivy league school found Cindy attractive. She went through the first class cabin and asked if anyone wanted an additional drink. While I could have had Courvoisier Cognac, I passed up the chance in favor of a Pepsi. She brought it to me about 15 minutes later. She was speaking to her potential sugar daddy and forgot all about me. She gave me a nice smile and said she was sorry. I guess that was enough for me
As you can see I am still reliving the glory of my first class life. These dried up little runts of pretzels do not compare to my first class nuts.
Back to Icy Sparks..
I am on my way to the bathroom at the international terminal at BWI when Carol catches up to me and says that I have been paged to go to the check in counter.
"You need a seat assignment,” Carol tells me.
"I already have an assignment."
I am waiting in line when the flight attendant at the check in counter pages me again. I start to go toward her when she signals me to go to the check in desk. This was nice because I did not have to wait again in the line. (5 years after writing this and I have no idea what I meant. LOL)
Then the big surprise.
"Sir, you have been upgraded to first class."
I don't ask why. Don't even remember to say thank you.
"Sir you can board now with the first class passengers."
Before doing so, I walk over to Carol and tell her that I have been upgraded to first class.
"What did you do to deserve that?" She asks.
On board the flight attendant takes our first drink order, hands us our menu and gives us our first class nuts. Yes they are not the ordinary pack of 14 peanuts that you get in coach. There are cashews. There are almonds and walnuts and filberts. Nary a peanut in the bag. These are genuine first class nuts. Even the bag says: "First Class Nuts"
Soon the stewardess, Cindy, starts handing out the $4 headsets. I am tempted to get my wallet out and pay to watch the stupid movie. Ah, I forgot, this is first class, I can watch the movie, “Heartbreakers starring Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Gene Hackman.
I personally think they gave me first class seats because they knew who was seated behind me. It is a middle aged man in shorts with a few days growth on his chin that he is passing off as a beard. He smells like a brewery and from the number of times that he went to the bathroom, he either has a tiny bladder that fills up quickly with alcohol or he is doing drugs. Each time he gets up my seat back feels as though the plane has lost both wings and is plummeting to the ocean.
We have now been served our drinks in real glass! Ok, I know that there is no such thing as unreal glass; perhaps that is what those poor shmoes in the coach cabin call their plastic cups. When you think about it they may call their plastic cups, plastic glasses. I am now taking a sip of my first class orange juice from my glass glass. It is delicious. Just that-- refreshing newly squeezed oranges. I see the bare foot of the woman passenger in the first row. My synapses put her feet on the fresh squeezed orange. Suddenly,It seems less first class. There should be rules for bare feet in first class. I am sure they would not tolerate that in coach class.
Cindy puts a table cloth on my tray Well maybe it should be called a tray cloth. It is about the size of a napkin, in fact, I think it is a napkin. Should I pull it off the tray and tuck it into the top of my shirt?
The flight attendant, Cindy, gives me a tiny rolled up towel. I take it as if someone hands me these everyday. Secretly I hope it is a tiny hot dog; even though I know it is simply a hot towel with which to wash up. Now where is the towel to use to dry my hands from using the hot towel?
Now my napkin. Now my silverware, I know it is not real silver; but at least it is metal.
The first course (you’d expect that in first class you would get a "first" course now don't you.) consisted of a fruit plate with two large strawberries, a kiwi slice displayed on a slice of orange, an artfully arranged mélange of melons and fresh pineapple. Cindy returns with my choice of croissant or some kind of arty bread. I choose the croissant.
The waitress, no flight attendant, no Cindy, removes the first course and shortly brings back my order of omelet and Norwegian salmon with capers and onions. As I enjoy this, I wonder how Carol and Mike are doing with their choice of chef's salad or hamburger. (As I look back at this from when I wrote it five years ago—Wow, how the years have changed service. Coach now gets only the peanuts that they used to serve in the beginning of the flight.)
After the meal, I finally make it to the bathroom which is invariably is too small for me. Hey, isn’t this first class? Where is my palatial bathroom? Perhaps this first class is not up to the standards of United or American. I will have to ask my brother, Dan, who often flies first class. and Gene Hackman.
I am now going to read. The movie stunk, I am glad I didn't have to pay the $4.00
Off to read
The second half of the trip was not nearly as lucky. We were scheduled for departure at 1:34 and finally took off at 2:10. I was assigned seat 8b... First class in this plane is row 1 and 2. Close enough to see through the crack in the curtain but not near enough to get a glass- glass. No-- the service is a white plastic cup. I did trade my 8 b for 8 e to accommodate a man and his traveling companion. That is a bit of a lie. I really was afraid that the fat woman would sit in the seat next to mine. After the comfortable, roomy first class seat, I was in no mood for lapping fat heating me up over the dessert in Phoenix.
We were just served our "snack" and Pepsi. Jay, my new flight attendant, asked me what I wanted and what the two men on either side of me wanted. The guy to my left wanted a Vodka and club soda for $4. Jay forgot my order and had to ask again. You would think that a man with a job like Jay's would take pride in remembering the simple orders. Perhaps he should get a system. Jay is not nearly as attractive as Cindy was. Jay is bald and with his eyes about 1/2 way down his head, I wanted to draw another more pleasing face on all that exposed skin above his eyes. Cindy did not have a mustache. She did have the beginning of a new chin. I suppose she was an extremely attractive women when she was slightly younger. I did not like her hair. While it was not obviously dyed it was one of those hair cuts like all the Hollywood actress sport--- I think of it as deliberate messiness. Evidently the white haired man who was wearing the blue blazer, tan pants and loafers who seemed to be manufactured in some Ivy league school found Cindy attractive. She went through the first class cabin and asked if anyone wanted an additional drink. While I could have had Courvoisier Cognac, I passed up the chance in favor of a Pepsi. She brought it to me about 15 minutes later. She was speaking to her potential sugar daddy and forgot all about me. She gave me a nice smile and said she was sorry. I guess that was enough for me
As you can see I am still reliving the glory of my first class life. These dried up little runts of pretzels do not compare to my first class nuts.
Back to Icy Sparks..
posted by Kajgreb | 5:16 PM
2 Comments:
First class hunh! Enjoyd this kaj
who is Carol? Does Mary know?
Why does your brother fly 1st class and not you? Gene Hackman I can understand (smile)
We were upgraded to first class on our trip back from the Keys. Boy was it wonderful. I even liked the food, and I don't normally like airplane food.
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